A Caregiver’s Job: Assist, Support,
and Love
By Joanne F. Kennedy
According to the National Alliance for Caregiving and AARP, 29% of the U.S. adult population (65.7 million) are caregivers to someone with an illness, disability or who is aged. Women make up 66% of the caregiving population with the average age of female caregivers being 48. Millions of people are afflicted by conditions such as fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue and immune dysfunction syndrome, lupus, multiple sclerosis, Parkinson’s, and Alzheimer’s, leaving them reliant upon the care and assistance of a family member. The difficulties of living with chronic illness are numerous, and the demands of caring for a chronically ill family member can be challenging.

“I can’t feel the bottom of my feet,” Jack said. He had been standing on a ladder, painting our back porch. When he climbed down and came into the house with a disturbed expression on his face I could tell that he was concerned.
I didn’t think at that time that something could be wrong. I reminded him that, as usual, he was working in a pair of leather moccasins with soft soles that didn’t provide enough support. He was 38 years old, chairman of the science department at a nearby high school. Life was normal and he had a routine: yard work, washing the car, tutoring our children. He was an attentive father and husband.Then I remembered that for a while, about three years prior to this, he pretended to be devoted to watching football on TV every weekend, but actually, he was on the couch sleeping. And then there was a period of time when I had to hire someone to do a major yard cleanup because he was unable to keep up with the maintenance. I had forgotten these times because they didn’t seem related to one other.
It was another three years when it became clear that he could no longer work because the numbness in his feet had moved up his legs. He was diagnosed with a non-typical multiple sclerosis. At that time, I was determined that this would not change our family. I thought I could handle it all on my own—his illness, the kids, the house, my job. I wanted so much to be able to do it all. But I couldn’t.
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